sometimes i just find myself bored of my own life. tired of living. i hate my mundane boring life. i need excitement (as clara says). i need a break , long long one (as suraya says). i realize, i've been away from friends for a long time. i've kept all my troubles in me, i think i'll break soon. i want to cry. i am. there's just something in me that feels like breaking. i feel very broken and just want to break more. everyone has their best bud, i don't. i just wish there was someone who could just listen and understand instead of criticizing and comparing.

this is why i feel so fake about myself. a facade i put in front of myself. everyone has their troubles. just don't know why theirs are always so much more important than mine. vanessa is the happy go lucky girl who doesn't have anything bad in her life. NOT. i see myself, and i hate it. on and off i get depressed. just that no one knows it. well, who really wants to anyway? everyone's bothered about their own stuff already. i only have myself to bother about and bother.

back to lab stuff, its seriously i-cannot-tahan-already.

music, i'm listening to the deftones. just have that feeling to listen to them again. sometimes i just wish i was a child. no troubles (except teacher and parents), nothing to worry(except their studies), no cares. just being cute and all.

deftones-cherry waves