i'm still so tired. i need holiday, badly. just to get away from the bustle of singapore. i hate singapore sometimes. its just so hectic.someone told me in australia, you need appointment to see doctor, not just go whenever you want. it definitely beats having 500 patients a day. beat that aussie!! yea but i just hate singapore. or maybe i just dont like the routine stuff where waking up at 6 30 is such a chore.taking the 720 bus in the morning, taking 100 people's blood, doing FBC all that. but its a chore that keeps you safe for the time being, knowing that its what you're going to be doing tomorrow, unless something happens and we're all relocated somewhere else. i just need a holiday in short. australia would be good, wind sand and sea. i've always wanted to go to switzerland. or maybe even france. notice i say out all the 'ang moh' countries, because i dont know why.maybe i wanna see other cultures, i mean what for say go to malaysia or indonesia where you know you're going to see another chinese/malay/indian?

i need a painkiller for my toe. big toe slipped on the stair case when going up to polyclinic just now. i think the staircase brushed really hard against the toenail. after that, wah. dnt know if i had sustained a hairline fracture.didn't go to the doctor despite the 4 of them protesting to me to do that before 9 so that pch can come. but to think abt it, i've been seeing doc twice this month. its like i'm thinking 'van, so pathetic, twice this month, broken your life long record already' so i decided not to, see if the toe pain would subside. bt no, it didn't, got worse instead until a point where it had this super sharp pain.

so i got home, slept, hoping the pain would go down again, now its better lah. hope it doesn't affect me tomorrow. i read if there's fracture, would be more painful than this and also this hasn't any blueblack, i shall use scientific term, hematoma. yeah. does pressing on the toe help depress the pain?

my total good fortune. which brings me to a song by PJ Harvey, total classic. she's cool.

PJ Harvey-Good Fortune
Threw my bad fortune
Off the top of
A tall building
I'd rather have done it with you
Your boy's smile
Five in the morning
Looked into your eyes
And I was really in love

In Chinatown
Hung over
You showed me
Just what I could do
Talking about
Time travel
And the meaning
Just what it was worth

And I feel like
Some bird of paradise
My bad fortune slipping away
And I feel the
Innocence of a child
Everybody's got something good to say

Things I once thought
Unbelievable
In my life
Have all taken place
When we walked through
Little Italy
I saw my reflection
Come right of your face

I paint pictures
To remember
You're too beautiful
To put into words
Like a gypsy
You dance in circles
All around me
And all over the world

And I feel like
Some bird of paradise
My bad fortune slipping away
And I feel the
Innocence of a child
Everybody's got something good to say

So I take my
Good fortune
And I fantasize
Of our leaving
Like some modern-day
Gypsy landslide
Like some modern day
Bonnie and Clyde

On the run again
On the run again