this week, suddenly have some extreme adrenaline. it used to be us tahan the patients now its us fighting back, not quite literally lar. just more of standing up for ourselves. but i keep thinking why i cant use this new 'trait' of myself for real. like just telling sandy 'hey i dont want to sign contract anymore' and really shock her for real. i mean of course my objective is to find a job la. everyday i pray someone would call me for an interview but somehow they have stopped coming. i wonder if this is what i'm supposed to be doing at all?

i wonder if God's path for me is this way.

i just feel confused, what am i supposed to be doing? am i supposed to sit through and wait? or force myself out of my comfort zone and be 'discomforted'.

so many 'i wonder'